Sarah
looked over her shoulder at yet another heart-stopping sound, but it was only
the wind, ripping through the night with the shrill call of winter. It caught
the tips of her scarf and whipped them around her face, the flutter of cloth
scattering the warm plumes of her breath and momentarily blocking her vision.
She tucked them into her coat and looked around again. The lawn was deserted,
the few bare trees branching up into the starlight so that they stood out in
stark relief. Someone had hung ornaments on some of the lower branches, a
decoration which might have seemed festive on any other night but tonight only
seemed to clank ominously.
Tonight,
everything was suspect.
Catching
herself, she forced her gaze forward. She was probably crazy. She knew she was crazy, because what she’d
seen simply didn’t make sense. Coincidence could always be made to look like a
pattern if one simply held the pieces right. What was it Dr. Graden always
said? Paranoia was the same as hope for the fantastic – they both stemmed from
dissatisfaction with the facts. Still, crazy or not, it wouldn’t do to look
paranoid.
Especially
if she was right.
After
the frigid wind of the commons, the library seemed to blast her with warmth and
quiet and light. Nearly as deserted as the rest of the campus, the place boasted
only three occupied tables: a cluster of students likely studying for the same
test, a dedicated and slightly mad looking law student buried under an ocean of
horrendous looking books, and Benny.
Just
the sight of him had her sighing with relief. She hadn’t doubted that he’d come
– he was always there when she needed him – but she had feared…. She shook her
head and cut off the thought. It didn’t matter what she’d feared. Paranoia
again, she told herself. And there was no cause to be dissatisfied with the
facts. She just needed to understand them in a way that wasn’t absolutely
insane.
“Hey.”
Benny
stood and smiled, offering his softly spoken greeting well before she was close
enough to hear. His hands fidgeted nervously as they always seemed to do –
though she didn’t know it – around Sarah. They tugged at his sweater, pushed
his unruly hair off his forehead – where it just flopped right back, pushed up
his glasses, adjusted his bag on the table. And then he just absorbed the sight
of her. The lovely blond of her hair was something of a mess from the wind, and
her cheeks and nose were pink from the cold. But it was her eyes he loved the
most – especially when they were here. The dark green always seemed to catch
the golden lights of the library, so that the rust colored flecks around her
pupils flashed like a secret only he could see.
When
she reached his table, he realized she hadn’t heard him. So he said again, “Hey.”
And then his customary greeting, “How’s history?”
“Nothing
new,” she replied, but her usual response almost stuck in her throat. She
managed, “How’s the psyche?”
“Just
the right amount of damaged.” He grinned, loving the exchange, loving her
scent, loving everything about her face. When she barely managed a smile in
return, his faltered. “You okay, Sare?”
“Yeah,”
she replied absently. She was looking around the library as if searching for
someone, and his heart sank.
“How’s
Jason?”
“Jason?
Why…oh.” She was stunned to realize that, in the strangeness of everything else
that had happened, she hadn’t told him about Jason. The surprise was enough to
pull her attention back to him for the moment, and she sat, relieved to set the
weight of her bag on the table. But instead of unpacking it or moving it to the
floor, she pulled it close and wrapped her arms around it. “We broke up.”
“You…oh.”
He wondered if his face reflected his internal war between delight and
sympathy, and he glanced at the table. “I’m sorry. What happened?”
“Well,
let’s see. Thirty minutes after we were supposed to meet at La’Fontaine for
dinner, he called me to ask to borrow money. No mention of our dinner
reservations at all. When I asked him if he was planning to show up, he said he
was too drunk to drive.”
“Oh.
Huh.”
She
snorted, reassured by the normalcy of the moment. “I believe the word you’re
looking for is douche.” When he laughed, she continued. “The thrills didn’t end
there. An hour after I got home from my solitary meal, he showed up with two
sorority girls in tow and asked if we could share dessert.”
“Oh…huh.”
She
laughed outright. “I’m going to pretend that’s disgust in your eyes. Let’s say
that this time the word you’re looking for is gross.”
He
grinned and rubbed her back in commiseration. “Sure it is. Nothing intriguing
at all about the thought of you sharing anything with sorority girls.”
She
laughed and hit his shoulder. And oh, it really was good to feel normal. She
could always count on Benny, she thought again, and the warmth she felt lit her
eyes. Then she looked down at the bag she still held protectively close, and
the light in her gaze dimmed.
What
if she was putting him in danger?
When
she quieted, he pulled his hand away, not quite confident with the gesture of
affection. He waited for her to speak, but she said nothing. For no reason that
he could name, a kernel of worry wormed its way into his heart.
“Sarah,
why are we here? We had a no dissertation pact for the holidays. You took your
last class over the summer, so you have nothing to study for. What’s up?”
She
looked through the room again. The group of students let out a startling round
of laughter and then glanced around guiltily. The law student was gone, his
plethora of books abandoned. No one else was near.
She
looked at Benny again and took a deep breath. “It’s probably nothing. I’m sure
it’s nothing. I just…I need your help with something. I found something. Or, at
least, it looks like something, and I need…I need you to look at it and see if
you…see what I saw.”
One
black brow lifted over his incredibly blue eyes, and his lips seemed on the
verge of a smile. On any other day, she would have been tempted to smile back.
“With
that perfectly clear explanation,” he said, “I’ll do my best.”
She
tossed another furtive glance around, and then she pulled the paper out of her
bag.
It
was thin, the disposable paper from a large sketch pad folded to fit in her
pack. She spread it out across the table, careful not to smudge the ink as she
smoothed the creases. And then she waited.
It
didn’t take him long. She knew the moment he saw what she had seen, and her
heart dropped and then began to thud. He looked at her, his usually cheerful
eyes narrowed with concern, and she felt her hands tremble.
“Sarah,
this can’t be right. Are you sure this is right?”
“Of
course. I checked the facts a dozen times before I even called you. It’s all
accurate.”
“Then
it has to be a coincidence.” He looked at the sheet again, his frown deepening
as he ran his fingers over the words. “It has to be-”
What interrupts Benny? You decide. Vote on the poll below this post, and feel free to add comments!
What interrupts Benny? You decide. Vote on the poll below this post, and feel free to add comments!
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